Pacifica Solves the Triangle
by ASinkingFeeling
Summary: Bill Cipher likes to make his deals with vulnerable people. Dipper when he's sleep deprived, Ford when he's full of himself. But will his tried and true formula work on Pacifica?


The party had ended wonderfully. At least, it did in Pacifica's opinion. Her parents, however, didn't agree.

"You disobeyed a direct order Pacifica," her father lectured. "Do you know what that means?" She opened her mouth to answer, but was quickly cut off by her mother.

"It means we're going to be limiting your credit card for a _week_." Pacifica gasped. "You will not be allowed to spend more than… let's say… two hundred dollars a day." She scowled at her parents, but kept her mouth shut. Anything she said right now would only make things worse.  
"I'm going to go order a different bell, why don't you go to bed." Her parents walked away from her. She looked around the ravaged foyer. Some townsfolks were still hanging around, and her servants were trying to get them to leave. She started the walk to her bedroom, and was surprised by how deep the "commoners" had gone into the mansion. She eased her door open while greeting Toby Determined. He had his head stuck in an umbrella stand and Pacifica felt he looked better in it. Her solid wood door swung closed behind her, and she made sure it was locked. After changing out of her purple dress into her pajamas, she let her bed swallow her. The events of the evening started weighing down and before long she was sleeping.

Her deep sleep didn't last long, however. Her eyes fluttered open, and she found herself in a meadow. There were multicolored ponies in the distance, prancing on a pastel hill. She started walking over them, but was stopped by an echoing voice.

Her eyes darted around the flowing field, but the source of the yelling remained hidden. She was scanning the horizon when there was a tapping on her shoulder. Whirling around she came face to face with a yellow triangle.

"Hey there Llama!" the pyramid yelled. "How's being rich going?" She stumbled away from it and squeezed her purse into her chest.

"What are you!?" she demanded. "Where am I?"

"Oh, this old place? This is your mindscape." The isosceles gestured around them. "All of the stuff here means something personal to you. Isn't that cool!" The triangle descended into the ground and appeared behind her. "But where are my manners? My name's Bill, Bill Cipher, and yours is Pacifica Northwest." Pacifica edged away from him.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked.

"Of course you are! Doesn't mean this isn't real." He leaned on his cane and continued. "I've been watching you, and I must admit you impressed me tonight." She frowned and her eyes narrowed.

"You've been watching me? That's a _bit_ creepy."

"Oh, don't sweat it kid, you're not alone." Pacifica raised her eyebrows, but dropped the topic.

"Why were you impressed?" she pressed.

"Oh, you're a Northwest, and after Pine Tree screwed up I thought you were going to be next." Pacifica clenched her teeth, but didn't respond. For whatever reason, this guy wanted to agitate her. "Speaking of Pine Tree, check this out." Bill Cipher lowered himself onto the ground, and conjured a television out of the ground. A replay of the night's events started playing on it. He paused the video several times, and pointed things out.

"Look at that! You hid under the same table together! Looks like you two really have some chemistry." He continued pointing out romantic moments throughout the night. Pacifica sighed and rolled her eyes at each one, until he got to Dipper comforting her in the hidden room. When he started remarking on that part, she suddenly started feeling warm. Which would have been good any other time, but right now she needed to keep focused. After remarking on their teamwork destroying the rug, Bill reached the end of the recording and warped the screen away.

"What am I supposed to say now?" Pacifica asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to point out how hopelessly in love you are with Pine Tree. Hopeless because he's going to move away at the end of summer and you're never going to see again." Pacifica put her hands on her hips and took a step toward Bill.

"You're lying, 'Bill Cipher'. Dipper and I both have cellphones, and I'm pretty sure he knows how to use his." Bill shook himself side to side.

"You're missing the point, llama girl. What I'm trying to say is this: you need help." He pulled a daisy out of the air and started pulling off its petals.

"What help?" she ask. "Are you offering me relationship advice?!"

"No, I'm offering so much MORE." His eye flashed red momentarily, but quickly faded back to black. "Just shake my hand, and I'll make sure you and Dipper are inseparable! In return, you give me a teensy little something of yours." He reached his hand out, and the blue flames that appeared around it incinerated the flower.

"What 'teensy little something' do you want?" Pacifica countered. Bill extinguished his hand and lowered it.

"Oh come on kid, stop being so _obtuse_. Just shake my hand and you and Dipper will be togeth—"

"What do you want!?" Pacifica yelled. "I know you don't care about me and Dipper, you just want my 'little something'!" Bill recoiled and grabbed his tophat before it floated away. He expanded and his body turned red.

"HOW DARE YOU YELL AT ME! YOU'RE LUCKY I WON'T INCINERATE YOU RIGHT… Now…" Bill paused and looked at himself. He shrunk back to his regular size and returned to his golden body color. Brushing himself off, he continued in a quieter voice. "You just turned down a wonderful offer kid, and I promise you you're going to regret it!" He started fading. "Looks like my time's up, so I'll make this fast: youmighthavewonthistimebutnexttimethingswillchaaaaange!" In a flash of light, he was gone. The colorful ponies Pacifica had noticed earlier pranced over. Composing herself, Pacifica smiled.

"Hey guys, how about we go on a ride or something before I wake up." She climbed onto the closest one and rode over the nearest hill. Whatever that triangle had wanted, he hadn't gotten it. And that made her smug.

* * *

 **AN**

 **So, in case you're wondering what happened, I have this head canon where Pacifica's taken "negotiating class" and is more aware of contract specifics. Bill Cipher's gotten used to the gullible Pines family. I had originally had Pacifica take the deal, but this way I can say it's canon.**

 **And I'm sorry for the title. ;)**


End file.
